Friday, January 7, 2011

We're Getting Married.

If you know me in real life, you know that thus far I've been a bit of a reluctant bride. Not reluctant about the actual marriage part (I'd go to the courthouse with him today!) but about everything else. The arrangements. The cost. The guest list. The dress. Wondering when in the world I was going to have time to plan a flipping wedding when some days I already don't have time to do basic things like bring in the mail. Moping about the fact that the majority of my friend base lives a couple thousand miles away and that the bride's side of the [wedding venue] is going to be. . . sparsely populated, especially compared to the groom's side. Editing out the misogynistic portions* of the traditional wedding ceremony (Dear God, where should I start. There shall be no "giving away" of the bride, for starters. . . ) Um, finding a way to fund it all when we're paying two mortgages and there are no parents to lean on for cash infusions. You get the idea.

When people have asked about dates I've been squirrely and noncommittal. The first one we'd had in mind got nixed when I had a middle-of-the-night realization that if we wanted to get married then, I'd have to get everything taken care of, like, yesterday. (I was even scolded over the phone by a David's Bridal lady!) And so, on to Plan B.

I finally got up the nerve to call the venue I'd been eyeing. (We've talked a lot and checked out lots of websites, but there had only been one real contender in my mind.) I talked with their event coordinator about dates and going on a tour. I thought about backing out when, on the day of our meeting, K woke up at 8am and was not interested in napping before our 2pm appointment, and when I looked outside and saw So. Much. Snow and more still coming down and yucky, yucky roads, and it was nice and warm inside and I had other things that needed to be done anyway and, hey, we've waited this long, what could rescheduling it for next week hurt?

But I didn't. I bundled the baby up in her snowboots and winter coat and turned on the 4 wheel drive and (still!) skidded my way across town to the venue. Their parking lot hadn't been plowed yet so I just kind of parked the truck . . . wherever it stopped. (That sense of bridal entitlement is kicking in already. What do you mean that's not even a spot? I'll park where I want, thank you very much.)

As we made our way into the building, I asked K, "Do you know what we're doing here?"
K responded: "We're getting married!" *She's been to two weddings in the last six months and she's heard us talk about it enough, so this isn't quite as out of left field as one might think.

Once inside, we talked. We toured. We swooned. We penciled in a date & time. (We'll lock it down next week, probably.) And I left feeling excited. Excited! Ideas were flowing. So much so, in fact, that I sat at a flashing red light not realizing that it was flashing and not solid red until one of the cars in the line behind me finally honked. (Again, I can't be expected to follow your silly traffic rules. I'm getting MARRIED. If I want to daydream about weddings at flashing lights, I will!) I stopped at the bookstore to cash in some gift cards on silly bridal magazines. I talked Bob's ear off about my clearly brilliant wedding/party/etc ideas when he got home from work.

It was a good day.

We're getting married.

*Things that I interpret as such. (And I've taken a lot of women's studies classes, and thus interpret a lot as such ;-)  No judgment on others who see things differently.


  1. Bob's friend Nancy (aka Ken's wife Nancy)January 7, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    I have helped marry off two of my children in the last 14 months, and another one is marrying in six months; the sense of Bridal Entitlement is real, and important, and *necessary* to 1) getting things accomplished, but more importantly 2) getting things accomplished THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE. Do not settle for less than you want/need/deserve/demand, and if anyone complains, simply remind them You're The Bride. It's that simple.

    I'm glad to hear you're on the right path.

  2. Awww! Congratulations, girl! I'm glad you are excited!! You can do it your way and have fun with it....AND have it at a reasonable cost.

  3. Congratulations!!

    Have fun with all the planning!

  4. There is absolutely nothing wrong with bridal entitlement! It's a big day, and it should be done your way :)

    Have fun with the planning, and congratulations!!


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